The Other Side

​ Dear Sam, Today was traumatic. Not because it’s the first week of summer and all six kids are home. Not because it’s the first of the month and all the bills are due. No. Today was traumatic because I finally addressed the email problem I’ve been avoiding for over a year. For reasons I cannot fully explain, I convinced myself fixing my email would require a degree in computer science, a trip to a phone store, and possibly a priesthood blessing or an exorcism. So naturally, I ignored it for twelve months. Today I faced my fears. It was every bit as awful as I imagined. I fought Microsoft. Then Outlook. Then Outlook.com. Then Microsoft 365. Then GoDaddy. Then something called a passkey. Then Microsoft Authenticator. Then verification codes. Then verification codes to verify the verification codes. At one point I was being asked to approve an app that required access to an account that I couldn’t access because I needed the app. I briefly considered living...

  Somehow this video became about leaks, grief, intuition, hidden treasure, and welcoming my husband back into our bedroom. 😅 Utah is in a drought… meanwhile my house is leaking everywhere. Pool equipment leaking. Things breaking. Water going where it shouldn’t. Me trying to catch my life in garbage bags. But underneath all of that chaos is a story about trusting my gut. I bought turf knowing full well it was probably not the smartest financial decision on paper. Honestly, I half expected Sam to come back from the dead just to stop me. 😂 Instead… I found treasure. While digging through storage under the stairs, I found Sam’s grandma’s silver that was hidden away for a couple decades! Silver tea set… that also happened to be worth enough money to pay off the turf before interest even kicked in. And while searching through all those forgotten boxes, I found something even more valuable: our wedding photo. A photo I had once put away during a season where I was angry, hurt, ...

​Hey Babe! Every now and then Facebook offers a gem. Today it reminded me of a few memories that all took place on today’s date, May 19th.  Take a look 😆 That “Man” conversation is killing me. 😆 We have a good balance. Some kids think I’m a mean mom while others think I’m a good MAN.  You win some you loose some! 🤷🏻‍♀️😎 I’m doubling down babe!  I can still be both. 😘

​ I’m starting to realize that the reality I experience every day is real… but only real through my mortal body.   My exhaustion, grief, fear, stress, loneliness, distractions, and responsibilities all feel incredibly real because I experience them physically and emotionally here on earth.   But deep down, I don’t think this temporary reality is my truest reality.   My truest reality is spiritual. Eternal.  This is where Sam is now, but I am only catching glimpses of it.  — usually when I slow down enough to hear God above the noise of survival mode.  The strange thing is that my default state requires no effort.   Fear is automatic.   Distraction is automatic.   Survival mode is automatic.   Living only through my physical senses is automatic.   But stepping into spiritual awareness takes intention.   It takes stillness.   Prayer.   Surrender.   Faith.   Trust.   Obedience.   It takes work to disc...