The Other Side

                                      Babe!   It's football weather!!  You are in the air!  The slight chill makes me think of you.  You are the warm body that makes a chilly day perfect. I will miss that! I love Autumn. 😍  I think I know what you meant when you would tell me sometimes you wanted to swear when you looked at me. 😂🥰 (Thanks for that by the way) Thats how I felt this week witnessing Utah's beauty.  It was breathtaking!!  So enjoy these pictures of me in breathtaking views and swear until your hearts content. 😇😍 😂                                                                               ...

 This week we showed up at the cemetery dressed differently. 🙄 Normally, we show up right after church, but today we didn't go to Church.  It was the Primary program and they weren't participating.  Instead we went straight to you dressed like this. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I expect Joshua will be in costume for the next month. Joshua took the flowers I brought for you and did this saying: "Look mom!  I'm going to be Dad" 😂😂 I mean, it was the perfect set up!  🤣 Later in the afternoon Jennica and I drove to the Salt Lake City Cemetery.  I had never been there before and this new part of me likes spending time in graveyards.  I wanted to find our Tanner relatives.  I instantly appreciated the small location you(we) are in.  That cemetery is HUGE and packed!    A few weeks ago Joshua noticed a new grave nearby you.  He went over and examined it.  I heard him say: "Welcome to the graveyard."  Then pointing over to us said: "This is m...

  First date hightlights: Started at the Taylorsville Temple.  Then we grabbed ice cream and went back to your place. (the cemetery 😆)  I like me when I am with you! 🤟 😘

  If I were you, I'd want to know how the kids were doing, so here is an update. You died the exact same day Jadon was in the Hospital the year prior! February isn't a good month for the Hobi's. Next year I will wrap everyone in bubble wrap and stay at home.

 Here it is Babe! A video I never imagined I'd be putting together.   It's all about you while being all about me. 😢 I knew it was the song for this video.     You loved our family videos.  I'm pretty sure all the views on our videos are from you and Jadon alone. 😆.  He loves them like you love them.  Who knew they would be the connection for you two?   It's been 7 months. The timing was finally right. I must have been waiting for the song to be released.  It came out last month.  Our kids are amazing.   They've already changed so much.  I hate that you are gone.  I will keep making videos for you! I LOVE you! 🤟 Stay Close 😘 Lyrics: I’d be lying if I said that I’m okay Cause right now, I’m lost  And lost count of the broken prayers I’ve prayed    And it’s true that some days It’d be easier to doubt But Your word has never let me down So I believe You When You say You’re fighting for m...

 Hey Babe,      Tuesday night I cried myself to sleep.  It was a good cry.  I didn't realize there are so many different versions of a cry.  I don't ache in pain like I use to.  I do ache for us though.  I was like a heartbroken teenager crying myself to sleep holding onto our memories while listening to a playlist I made titled: "Sam". Its a good playlist 😢. It would be "burn worthy" back in the day.🤓 The next morning (Wed.) I went to the Temple.  I love being there.  I've been asking God to show me what I am missing.  Give me the eyes to see what I need to see.  What do I need to prepare for, be aware of, make changes to??  Without you, I rely heavily on Him. He is my provider, and protector like you once were.  The things I went to you for, I now take to Him. I ask Him to help me find a mechanic.  I ask Him to take the stress that certain financial situations are causing me.  I know He cares a...

                                                                        Babe! I don't have to tell you what just happened.  You know more than us right now.   I saw Jaroms text come through on my watch and I didn't understand why he was asking her if she was ok.  I wondered if I missed a text.  Before I could get to my phone to look she called.  She was running to her car. She said she was sitting in class when a man entered the room and told them there was an active shooter on campus and they needed to evacuate the building.  We debated weather she should try to get out in her car or to run to her apartment.  At the time it wasn't clear if the shooter was a mass shooter.  That was a terrifying moment for both of us. "Mom!  Wh...

 

Hey Babe!  I was outside watering dead spots on the lawn while Joshua was in the pool.  He was waiting patiently for me to be through with the hose so he could play with it.  "Are you done?" He asked over and over again.  "Almost" I kept answering but also kept finding dry spots.  "Mom!" He calls out to me in a different tone, but demanding my attention.  "Almost." I repeat, in the "mother tone."  "No, mom. It's not that." He says in frustration. I turn to face him. His little face, smashed with goggles and a nose plug, is bobbing out of the deep end.  "You're pretty." He says.  "What?" I wasn't expecting that!   "I wasn't asking about the hose." He confesses.  "I was saying you're pretty. " This reminded me of you. I'm in no way pretty today but he saw something pretty as he watched me water the lawn in my pajamas in the middle of the day.  That's when you...