The Other Side

​ I sold your drums today. 😢 I was really happy with the guys who bought them. They have a band!  Your drums are the newest addition to a local band called Twisted Axis. They loved your set  🥰 I found Jadon sitting with your drums a few days ago. (Pic) He kept saying:”Daddy’s drums” when the guys were here. 😇 I tried to tell them the deal was buy the drums get a kid free. 🤣 I felt good about selling your drums, which surprised me.  I considered selling your bike but I started to cry so the time isn’t right.  I’m not ready.   Your shoes are waiting for you to climb back on.  I am selling your wetsuits. Why did you have 3?? And I gave my brother (West) your compression boots.  You spent some quality time in those!  It’s strange how some things are easy to part with, while others make me cry at the thought of it.  I am not trying to get rid of your stuff, I’m happy keeping most of you around me. The drums were just taking up space I could us...

​ Today is Joshua’s 9th birthday!  He is the best kid. He is funny, polite, and still has a crush on me! 🥰 We went bowling 🎳 tomorrow we will have our family birthday dinner. He asked me if you could see him and if you knew what his presents were. 😇 I told him you bet! 👍  He was happy about that.  He said: “Of course he can see me.  He can see me all the time, right?” 🥰 We feel you near Babe! 😘  We’ve all had a birthday without you now. 💔 

​ babe.  I’m sitting here at the Ninja gym watching Joshua. I’ve caught him looking to see if I’m watching at least 5 times already. I love it. I want him to see I am watching Every time.  So… I sit here All eyes on Joshua. (Water break right now)  Midway through though, YOU interrupted my focus. Suddenly I’m crying. Why?  Because I heard you.  I heard you tell me you are proud of me. 😭 Thank you. 😘  🤟🏻

​ A few weeks ago this old man showed up as a visitor in our ward! 😇 I don’t bring my phone to church, so I came home and pulled up the zoom meeting and took a pic of the screen.  Mom was with me, she was so excited to be visiting on the same day. I told her this is how we roll. It’s his 2nd time visiting our ward and the 2nd Prophet to visit. 😆 PS: Russ Nelson isn’t our Bishop anymore, (released in Dec) but he and Clark are our Home Teachers!

  When it rains it pours. Grief hit hard this month. I'm ok...until I'm not. I saved my emotions for you. This was a much needed cry. I talked about the murder of Macy, the effect death has on the surviving, the trauma of your death on my nerves and the difficulty of "keeping it together" when everything around me is falling apart. Driving in a snow storm with cars all around me sliding off the road, and not knowing if I was next, is a metaphor too close to home. All I can do is stay in my lane and pray. Thank you for being with me in those terrifying moments. Moments that I can't back out of. I have to keep going, even when I can't see the road ahead. A true "Jesus take the wheel" moment.

Babe!  Abi is on the move. Keep an eye on her. 🤣 She’s taking the train down to Orem to spend the day with Jenn. ​

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Today’s line up features: DIARY of a Whimpy Kid series. 🤓​ Followed closely by: Number Blocks cars. 🚗 

​ I don’t know why some days are harder than others. I’m suddenly in a funk. I cry easily, I want to stay in bed and my body aches when I wake up.  This prayer was timely. 😇

​Hey Babe!   I took Joshua with me to run a few errands. We went to the Bank and closed out one of your accounts and I am trying to hunt down the title for the van. I found the right bank but they said it was mailed. 🫣 I have no idea where it is. I’m changing both car titles into my name and needed a notoriety, so I had that done at the bank as well. I’m use to these transactions.  I carry your death certificate in my purse 🥺  This particular bank happens to be located down the street from your burial so we stopped in to see you. 🥰  some geese were roaming the property and left a poop mess everywhere but we were happy to see they didn’t poop on you!!  (Your neighbors weren’t so lucky).  We removed your Christmas decorations. We’ve missed a few Sundays visiting you because we’ve been traveling for Maceys funeral. Joshua mentioned it had been awhile since we visited you and he also noticed it wasn’t windy. He decided it must just be windy on Sundays. 😊 On...

I went to Google to find a link to our podcast we did with Liz and found more than the link.  This information kind of freaks me out.  AI seems to know us well. It made me cry. I miss you.  

​ Thinking of you at 12:54 today. 😘 I just got home from walking with Saysha. I talk about you every time we walk. Actually, I talk about you everyday. It’s fun to see how you make your way into my daily conversations.  EVERYDAY 🥰 I 💗 you Sam Hobi!  Stay close 🤟🏻