The Other Side

  Babe, Today I want to be alone. I drove to the cemetery and when I arrive I find two funerals happening. The orange cones holding the family name brought me back to the day they guided me to your spot, with our name. Today I sat and watched Families dressed in black and a backhoe loader nearby filled with dirt. I remembered looking down into the plot dug for you. It was deep and unsettling. Yours is deeper than the traditional 6ft to make room for me to be stacked ontop.  Today I spread a blanket over our spot and laid stomach down like I’m listening for your heartbeat. All I heard was crunchy leaves and my sobs.  I miss you and feel you all at once. Being with you, without you, is oddly comforting. (Except for the migraines that result.) 😫

   

  Today I put the football flag tradition to bed. 😥 it's been 7 years since we started delivering flags to our neighbors on game day. 🏈 Today I delivered all the flags but texted that I wouldn't be picking them up. The flag is theirs to keep.   I will miss those cold Fall mornings blasting Halloween music in your truck with the kids in the back. I won't miss the freezing, late night flag pick ups though. 🥶 It was a fun tradition that started out as fundraising for Humanitarian trips but when those stopped it funded Disneyland memories. Fall has always meant football flags and Disneyland. I didn't go cold turkey...I kept our Disneyland plans this year. 😆 We leave next week. It won't be the same without you. ☹️ Jarom and Jace are at the BYU vs UTAH game. They camped over night in line to make it to the pregame recording. They are hard core. I love that they have this passion in common. I’m wearing a BYU shirt today, put out our flags and checked the score at hal...

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Part 2