The Other Side

 

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​hey Babe! 😍 Today I got creative (lazy) and turned a chore into a field trip. I filled your truck with items that needed to go to the dump, brought the kids along and called it an adventure. 😆 At the paying station I read a post stating that children under the age of 14 must remain in the vehicle. I was disappointed about that because I did want Joshua to get out and observe how the system runs. Instead, he watched from the window as Jennica and I tossed our junk into the cement canal looking driveway.  Jennica was unloading large buckets of very old (like 50 years) food storage. As she tossed one into the pit it exploded open and grain went all over. She turned away feeling so guilty saying:  “The dump is no place for an empath!”  😆 she felt so bad about the mess. I felt liberated! 🤩 As we drove away I rolled down the window and had Joshua take in the smells and explained how a tractor will come through soon and push everything dumped into the pit, into a dump truck...

​it snowed today. It was more than anything we’ve gotten the entire winter. I’ve never had to shovel our driveway. I didn’t today. I probably should have. The van didn’t  make it into the garage. So it’s sitting at the bottom of the driveway. (Jenn was driving it) I was driving your truck when I went out to ninja class for the boys. The roads were icy. Even in your truck I slid off the roads a few times. The breaks would lock on hills. I hate driving in snow.  I had plans to run errands, go to the Temple, and attend Janet’s surprise birthday party today but after getting ready I saw the snow falling and I climbed back into bed. I don’t want to do anything. My mind is numb.  Is it grief?  The snow? I have a babysitter the entire day and I stayed in bed. I turned on an audiobook I started a few days ago and didn’t move for hours. I dozed off and on and drug myself out of bed to go watch Joshua at his ninja gym class at 5:30pm.  Now I’m back in bed with our bedroom...

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​ Happy Valentine’s Day Babe! My screensaver seems to love you too. Very fitting that today you are featured. Last year you wrote jokes on index cards and hid them for me to find throughout the day.  Your objective was to put a smile on my face all day long.  I still have them. I will read them again today. 🥰 How will I get through today without a box of See’s chocolates??  😆 Thank you for loving me like you do. You’re my guy 💋  🤟🏻 Fun fact:

​ I love you!! 😆 I dreamt about you again. I keep having dreams you show up in my life again but you act like it’s normal that you’re back from the dead. This time I was able to tell myself (while dreaming) that it was a dream.  It really messes with my emotions.  I like the dreams when you are alive and part of me again not the ones when you are back from the dead. It’s usually the sam from marriage 1.0 and we’re fighting. I’m glad this picture of you showed up as my screen saver today. 🥰. I miss your fun personality. 

​ Babe!  I just walked passed Jadon after dumping my bathroom waste basket. He looked at me and said: “Hi mom. What are you doing with my garbage can?” 👏 That’s the first time he has ever greeted me with Hi mom 🥰  (His bus driver prompts him to say Hi mom EVERYDAY and he never does it!) And he’s starting to talk in sentences!! 🙌 I’ve noticed a change in his speech this week. He was looking at a book yesterday when he paused, looked at me and said: “mom, you need to relax.” 😆 where did that come from??  It sounds like he is saying phrases from things on tv or something but he doesn’t watch tv. He watches a curious George dvd…he doesn’t talk  🤪 Just now I heard him yell “I’m flying!!! As he ran up the stairs. 😆 Then I heard Joshua say: “Jadon be careful!” So I ran to see what was going on. I saw this 🫣 🤷🏻‍♀️  He is starting to express himself more.  He says the funniest things in the cutest voice. He asked me yesterday: “Where is daddy’s toys?” What ...