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Foreshadowing

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Cause of Death

  Babe!   What the heck?!   I picked up your Autopsy and Toxicology  report yesterday.    Cardiovascular disease?? Myocardial fibrosis?? Pulmonary edema???   How is that real? How does that equal this: How does this make sense? We get this report 👆saying your  biological age is 11.7 years younger than your calendar age and then 10 days later you are gone?! The only time I ever heard you mention something about your heart was a week before you died !  We talked about the surprising blood results concerning your heart and I asked you if you felt any of it.   You said: "No" with a mouthful of spinach. You admitted your heart hurt recently because we were fighting.  "Being distant from you has been really hard on me." You said.  "My heart hurt a lot." I thought you were being dramatic! 🙄🤯🥰. You said you were sure the next round of blood results in July would be better because we were better.   The only red flag w...
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Passenger Seat

​Babe!   We have another driver!  I have mixed feelings about it. As with every new Hobi driver, no matter how good (or bad) they are behind the wheel, I fear for my life when I’m locked in the passenger seat. I try my best to be supportive and patient but I’m not a good copilot!  
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Color

​    When I paint I am restored to a peaceful perspective on what is important in life and everything slows down and is calm. Also, when I paint, the kids don’t bother me. I think it’s because I do it in the main living room and they like being in the same room as me. They just hang out and enjoy the moment of mom sitting still and not talking to anybody. I recorded every painting session and found it interesting that I loved using the bright colors but the best parts of the time laps happen when I use black.  I hated using color number 22 and 24 because they were BLACK but I loved how it made the color pop in the video.  It’s true in life, our dark moments enhance our life and in a weird way actually make the color in our days brighter.  I took a break from painting because I didn’t want to complete the painting in one week. (I was booking it!") It sat untouched for over a week and I was in a funk that entire week.  Yesterday, I was so tired of being grump...
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