😤
Longest day ever!! I’m grumpy. I barely got through bedtime. I told Joshua he wasn’t sleeping with me tonight and he said: “You can’t just break your covenant!!” (covenant being; he can sleep in my room when it is not a school night)
That made me laugh, but yes I can and I will with this one . I’ve changed my mind. He isn’t sleeping with me on weekends anymore. I want to be ALONE!
Jadon has slept with me the past 2 nights because he’s sick. I’ve had enough vomit, poop and feet in my face. Our bed is stripped and I’m sleeping in it anyway all alone! (Me and the Graham cracker crumbs! 😫)
Every time I was on the phone I was interrupted by kids. It’s so frustrating! How can they time it so well? Jadon gets naked when I'm on the phone and tries to run to the pool. I see I need to make some time for teaching phone etiquette. Tonight was my Addiction Recovery meeting and every time I was speaking, someone was at the door trying to get inside. 😤
Is it too much to ask to be ignored for an hour? I’m calling a family council meeting this weekend. I’m starting to resent these people we call our kids. I need them to step up more. I can’t do it all. Can you schedule us in sometime this weekend? I'll do the talking and you do the striking fear in them.
Wreck it Ralph said it best:
“It’s kind of hard to love your job when no one seems to love you for doing it.”
I feel like I’m never stopping and so many things are still not getting done. The older kids aren’t doing their dish days. It’s making me crazy! I need the kitchen clean!! I need people to pick up messes they didn’t make. I need help.
I get people asking me all the time how they can help. I need the help they can not give. I need extra love, patience, long suffering. I need to wake up each day and ignore the heavy cloud that hangs over me and makes me cold. I need a fresh mind to remember all the things I need to remember. I need more hours in the day, and the days to go by faster. I need our kids to be proactive, and helpful. But, they are suffering too and we all hate doing the dishes.
If one person doesn't do their day, the person scheduled next isn't going to do them, and it goes on. 😫 Then it becomes my problem. I don't want it to be my problem! I just want the kitchen clean every day! I'm doing the yard work, the laundry, the shopping, the bathing, the bedtimes, the school schedules, the play times, the errands...JUST DO THE DISHES!!! I'm sure I could arrange a kitchen crew of volunteers from our neighborhood who would happily come and do our dishes each day, but that's ridiculous, I want our kids to do it. I want them to help me. They are capable. This is where you would always step in, clean the kitchen and reset the problem, but you're not here for the reset. (Which I hated, by the way.🤨 How many times did you rescue Abi from her neglected dishes?? It did solve the mess but it clearly didn't solve the problem because, here we are. 🙄 I see the "peace" your response was though. That's my problem. I don't have the capacity to do the dishes when they are left. My "Peacemaker" died!😇) Instead I send mean texts:
I’m ugly inside tonight. You’re not missing out on much this night. I hope tomorrow I am nice again.
I want to be a good mom, and I want our kids to see me as one who keeps her covenants. 😆. I met with Liz this week, her counsel to me was to work on how to: "Love being a mom."
You of all people know, I've always loved being a mom and my fear is I'm loosing it. I don't want to loose it. She is right, I need to make the changes to ensure I keep loving what I do. I need to take care of me so I can take care of them and love doing it. Help me out? I'll ponder on some changes we can make in the home and you haunt them in their dreams. 🙄
I miss you a lot. You are the person I need to buoy me up. You've always recognized my efforts as a mother. You honored me for it. Thank you.
Stay close! 🤟🏻
Love ,
“Your Babes”
I listened to this talk after a good nights sleep. With God, I can do this! We can do this.