Hobi Notes

 

                                                               

Hey Teach! Nice Pic! 🤓😍

Caroline dropped off the remainder of your personal belongings and your school photos at home today.  These new piles of you were kind of rude to show up here full of your personality.  Especially your Ironman bag.  

Ugh!  Sent me to tears.  I've seen you carry that bag in and out of this house so many times I almost expected to see you walk in the door. I haven't touched it.  It's still sitting in the entry.  

 Inside the box is a depiction of your brain:

 calculator, chargers, books, timers and ...a ball of yarn...??🙄. sounds about right! 😆 

(Joshua loves your timers -removed before the pic- he is trying to race around the backyard before they go off, and Jadon loves the buttons on your calculator. About that yarn...knitting as of late?)

Seeing Caroline really uplifted me.  There are a few people that my heart grabs ahold of when I'm in their presence and I don't want to leave them, because they are bits and pieces of you that I want to absorb longer.  

Caroline is one of them.  She was a big part of your funeral.  She was a speaker but also did all the music, including the musical number.  You already know this..

 I did not feel you at your funeral by the way. Were you there? 

 I hear grief and trauma can fog that experience.  I don't remember much of the funeral to be honest.  

As I talked with her today I realized she, too, was in a similar fog and doesn't hold memories of that day. I am so grateful for her support and love during that awful week.  A part of you came home with her today.  It's so great to feel you but my heart just wants to weep.(like we do in the Temple)  She and I cried together as she told me about graduation.  

In honor of you, each Senior received a hand written note, called a "Hobi Note." Inspired by your handwritten notes you wrote for each one of your students at Christmas last year.  

Those small notes made a huge impact in the lives of many of your students. I know if I got a personal letter from a teacher I'd never forget it. 

It doesn't stop there.  

Abi and Jenn treasure their hand written Valentine notes also. ( Abis is hanging on her wall and Jenn keeps it close in her purse). 

I delivered the one you wrote for Dr. Liz and sat with her as she opened it with her gift of chocolates at a recent session I had with her.  (She is another one of those people my heart feels you through).

I'm not surprised to find books in your belongings.  I'm not even surprised to see that they are the The Gulag, and the Old & New Testament!!😂 You carried the Gulag on our cruise!!? 😂

What I am surprised about is; there are only 3?  You're packing light.  

I have 2 bins of your books waiting to be restocked. (Jarom was home this weekend and asked me where your Joseph Smith book- the one that was sitting next to your bed, went.  I just stared at him. 🙄 That narrows the books down to 5,000 😆). 

My memory isn't what it should be.  It's frustrating.  They say it is part of losing a loved one.  It's real.  I feel like, and sound like, an old lady. 

Sometimes I have a hard time remembering simple things, things I SHOULD know. 

 It leaves me feeling incapable and so vulnerable. BUT then there are times when I KNOW you are giving me information.  I remembered/came up with some of your passwords!!!!  

Even one you told me back in our Connecticut days!  Your password prompt on your old laptop was "1st scripture" and I instantly knew it!  It's 10 characters long too! (and I forget my 4 digit phone code)

I was stumped on the password to your current laptop.  I didn't know what I was going to do.  I casually mentioned it to Jennica and she said: "I know that password.  It's XXXXXX."

She was right!  I was so amazed.  I asked why she knew it and she said you told her over Christmas break when she was helping you with grading.  I had to ask her again later and she explained what the digits meant and it blew my mind!  

You always praised me for my creative but logical passwords but BABE!  Your password is the best one yet! 😆. I am so sad we didn't get to share this moment together. 👏  I am so impressed.🤓🥳.   

I'm still paying for your phone line. So go ahead and call me sometime.  I dropped it to the cheapest option and $35 is worth every text I still send you (and get ignored, thank you very much!) and for access to your email accounts, old texts, and pictures.

Another time you helped me with my brain fog was when I was opening the pool.  The heater wasn't working and in my gut I knew it wasn't broken but I didn't know what to do.  

I texted Sheila about it and you answered my question before she did.  You told me where to turn on the propane on and reminded me that you shut it off last Fall.  It was like knowledge was dumped into my brain.  I suddenly just knew how to do it.

I guess your "Hobi Notes" will continue.  

I get your messages.

 Nanette was with me at the Temple last week.  When we met up after the session she took one look at my tear stained face and said with a knowing chuckle:

 "Ah! So, your husband was in there!"  (She is another one of those people I love to be with because I feel you...ok very strange that all "Those people" are making it into this post. The final one is Ben.  It hurts so good to see him also).  

I loved that she was with me because inside the Temple, I heard you tell me, what you said many times in her presence at our Thursday meetings:

 "I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen."  and I'm your Babes.

You always say that when I am a mess.  Here I am weeping in the corner of the Celestial room, feeling and hearing you next to me saying  "I am the most beautiful woman you have ever seen."

Thank you for "seeing me" 🥰 You filled my cup.🤟

Then, we took a selfie (I timed it with the airplane).  

Keep talking to me Babe!  Your Hobi Notes are life changing.

Stay Close!😘

I. LOVE. YOU! 🤟

 I promise.

Love,

The Babes ♥️