The Other Side

​ Babe!  First of all I’m brilliant for thinking up this cake idea for your birthday, and secondly I’m brilliant for posting this on Facebook in 2017. It made me laugh out loud 8 years later! 🤣🤣🤣 💋 

Last night (Christmas Eve) I made dinner ( and by that I mean I warmed up ham dinner I purchased) and we ate off your grandparents China. I set your plate at the head of the table and lit a candle. We laughed and enjoyed the food but it didn’t feel like we were creating family memories or keeping family tradition. It felt fake.  After dinner Jarom insisted we watch his favorite clip from Charlie Brown Christmas about the true meaning of Christmas.  Then he took your scriptures (still sitting at your bedside table) and he read out of Luke and proceeded to teach Joshua (and the rest of us) about the true meaning of Christmas. Jace pulled out his scriptures on his phone and read 3 Nephi and bore testimony of Jesus and the sign of his birth.    Coincidentally, I hadn’t  place the star on top of our tree yet and used that opportunity for the boys to light our tree with the sign of Jesus’ birth.  My heart was full as our boys stepped into your shoes and took the ...

  Christmas Eve was always a team effort. The two of us still couldn't get the job done before midnight. This is our first Christmas with out you. I tried starting 48hr early. Still didn't get to bed before 2am. I found a glue gun is my new favorite tool and gift on the doorstep from...YOU!!

​ I love this picture of you. India is HOT for Santa. 😅 For whatever reason I feel the same way you do in that pic today. 😢 I’m having a grief day. I think my emotions are catching up to me. I need a good cry. Is it because I have our Anniversary and your birthday behind us and I’m staring Christmas in the face?  😭😭😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😩😩😩 Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I need you!! I’m not sure what I’m going to do about prepping. Do I pull an all nighter?  Do I wrap or not?   I can’t just lock myself in our room because Jadon needs to be watched!!  I think I’ll assign Abi to him and lock myself in our room to wrap presents and to cry all afternoon! The physical part of Christmas (like the shopping, cleaning, decorating etc) isn’t getting to me. It’s being present, positive and emotionally charged that is getting to me. I’m doing a lot of “creating” because of all the fakeness of Christmas. 😆 and I’m doing a lot of chaos control with Jadon.   I refuse to wake...

I know you’re a fan of Michael Jackson. He wrote a song for Jadon. 😆​